What Happens When Love Betrays You: Infidelity, Healing, and the Power to Choose in Midlife

You weren’t expecting to feel this way at this point in your life.
The kids are older, maybe even gone. You’ve been through your share of stress and change. You thought the hardest part of your relationship was behind you.

Then betrayal blindsides you. Or maybe it’s not a surprise—but it still hits hard.

This week, a viral moment at a Coldplay concert thrust infidelity into the spotlight when a tech CEO was caught on camera with someone who wasn’t his wife. The internet responded with memes, outrage, compassion—and a lot of opinions.

And while we don’t know the whole story behind their relationship, I do know what it’s like to sit across from a woman whose world has just been flipped upside down by betrayal.

I’ve seen couples recover and rebuild after infidelity.
I’ve also seen couples stay—and stay stuck, bitter, and broken.
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
But here’s what I believe with my whole heart: You get to choose.

When Love Betrays You in Midlife

Infidelity cuts deep because it violates the very thing we hope to find in a long-term relationship: safety, trust, partnership. And in midlife—when our identity is already shifting—it can feel especially destabilizing.

You might be asking:

• Was any of it real?
  
  
• What’s wrong with me?
  
  
• Do I stay and try to fix it? Or do I leave and start over?
  
  

I want to gently remind you:
This pain is real. And so is your power.

Things to Know if You’re Facing Infidelity

You don’t have to decide everything right now.
Shock and grief take time to move through. It’s okay to pause.

You are not to blame for someone else’s choice to betray.
You may have areas to grow or patterns to examine—but betrayal is a decision the other person made.

Healing is possible—with or without reconciliation.
You can heal and grow no matter the outcome. You can stay and build something new. Or you can walk away and rebuild your own life.

Clarity often comes through support.
Therapy, coaching, support groups, and wise friends can help you sort the noise from the truth.

Resources I Recommend

If you’re in the thick of it—or walking beside a friend who is—here are some resources I trust:

Books

• After the Affair by Janis A. Spring
  
  
• How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair by Linda J. MacDonald
  
  
• Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
  
  
• The State of Affairs by Esther Perel
  
  

Podcasts & Talks

• The Terri Cole Show – Relationship Boundaries
  
  
• We Can Do Hard Things – Glennon Doyle’s episodes on betrayal
  
  
• Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin? (real couples in counseling)
  
  

If you're looking for support:
Sometimes you just need someone to help you process all of it. That’s what I do in 1:1 coaching—help you get clear on what you want next.

You Don’t Have to Settle—Not Now, Not Ever

Midlife is not the season to go numb and “make do.”
It’s the season to get honest, get clear, and live with intention.

Whether your marriage is thriving, struggling, or ending—
You deserve relationships that are rooted in mutual care, respect, and honesty.

💗 Cheering you on,
Lisa