Mother's Day and the Power of "And"

Mother's Day can be complicated.

It can be joyful and painful. Beautiful and heavy. Filled with love, and also marked by loss.

For many women, it brings a swirl of emotions that don’t always make sense on paper. And yet, they’re real. All of them.

You might feel:

• Grateful for the children you raised and grief for the mother you lost.
• Deeply loved and completely overlooked.
• Proud of how far you've come and heartbroken over what didn't turn out the way you hoped.
• Longing for the children you hoped to have and peace in the life you've created.
• Deep connection with your kids and heartbreak from one who's estranged.
• Full of joyful memories and deep sorrow from the loss of a child.

Welcome to the land of "And." Where two things can be true at the same time.

You can miss your mom and not want to talk about it. You can celebrate your kids and still feel resentment over all you sacrificed. You can feel peace and ache. You can be grateful and still grieving.

There's no right way to feel on Mother's Day.

Maybe you need to spend it surrounded by family. Maybe you need a solo walk, a good cry, and permission to ignore the cards and brunch plans.

Both are okay.

Midlife has a way of revealing these layered emotions. You may be grieving children who don’t reach out. Or wondering why motherhood didn't look the way you imagined. Maybe you never got to become a mom, even though you longed to. Or maybe you’re navigating a new chapter as a caregiver to the woman who once cared for you.

Whatever this day brings, you don’t have to fake it. You don’t have to smile if it hurts. You don’t have to post a tribute if you’re not feeling it.

What you can do is give yourself permission to hold both: The joy and the sorrow. The gratitude and the grief. The love and the longing.

Because emotional maturity in midlife isn’t about feeling one thing at a time. It’s about learning to hold space for the And.

So this Mother's Day, whether your heart is full or tender, heavy or light... Know that you're not alone.

You're not too much for feeling deeply. You're not too sensitive. You're human.

Be gentle with yourself.

You’re doing the best you can. And that’s more than enough.