How Showing Up Helped Me Find My People: Contribution in Midlife

Last July 4th, I was feeling… off. My close friends were out of town, my kids weren’t around, and I found myself with no plans. It felt like the whole world was lighting sparklers with their families, while I sat home with an empty calendar and an even emptier feeling.

Now, I’ve always been a big believer in volunteering. I truly think we were put on this earth for a reason—and we feel most fulfilled when we’re living out that purpose. But that day, I didn’t feel very purposeful. I felt disconnected and unsure of what to do.

I had recently moved to this little town, so I wasn’t quite sure where to plug in. But then I saw a flyer: Christmas in July, a town wide event. Without thinking too hard, I signed up to volunteer. “Put me wherever you need me,” I said.

And that’s how I ended up helping at the Arts Council with the kids’ art activities—two things that are not exactly my sweet spot.

But you know what? It was fine. More than fine. People were friendly. The event was fun. And by the end of the day, I returned home feeling a little less lonely, a little more connected, and a lot more grateful for the town I had decided to call home.

Now, if this were a Hallmark movie, I’d tell you that the Arts Council became my forever volunteering home. But real life is messier than that. The people were lovely. The work they were doing was phenomenal. But they weren’t my people—and that’s okay.

So, I kept going.

The following month, I volunteered for a road bike fundraiser hosted by the Chamber of Commerce. Nothing fancy—I just helped hand out packets to riders the night before the race. But something clicked. The event was organized. The volunteers were welcoming. It felt like family.

The next morning, I returned to help again. As the cyclists lined up before the race, I watched a line form—outside the men’s restroom of all places (for once, not the women’s!). The line kept growing. Without hesitation, one of the Chamber staff members jumped into action, rerouting half the group to the women's restroom and keeping everything running smoothly.

That moment stuck with me. I saw her meet a need with calm, capable leadership—and something in me said, These are my people.

Not long after, I joined a committee and started volunteering regularly. That one small “yes” led to connection, purpose, and a sense of belonging I didn’t know I was missing.

Contribution Is More Than Volunteering—but It’s a Great Place to Start

In our Midlife Roadmap group coaching sessions, we’ve been talking a lot about contribution—what it means, what it looks like, and how powerful it can be when you’re figuring out what’s next.

Some women are checking in on their neighbors. Some are serving on local boards. Some are mentoring, or tutoring, or helping out behind the scenes. Every single one of them is rediscovering a sense of purpose—by giving to something beyond themselves.

Here’s what I want you to know:
Contribution doesn’t have to be flashy. You don’t need to run a non-profit or start a foundation. It can begin with a single step—just showing up.

Want to Find Purpose Through Contribution? Start Here:

Think about what lights you up.
Do you love being outside? Are you passionate about education? Do you feel pulled toward certain causes—animals, women, mental health, your faith community? Start there.

Look for needs in your area.
Is your community hosting an event? Does your neighbor need a hand? Is a local nonprofit seeking volunteers? Pay attention to what catches your eye—and your heart.

Try your local volunteer center.
Many towns have a central hub that connects people with service opportunities—often with no long-term commitment required.

Stay open.
Even if the experience isn’t quite your thing (hello, kids + crafts!), showing up matters. It might lead you to your next step—or simply brighten someone else’s day.

Remember what you bring.
You’ve got decades of experience, perspective, and heart. In midlife, we often have more flexibility in our schedules, but we always have value to offer.

Don’t give up.
Finding the right fit might take a few tries. That’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s connection. And maybe even joy.

One of My Favorite Quotes:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
—Howard Thurman

Whether you’re volunteering once a year or every week, mentoring someone new or leading a community project—your contribution matters.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just take one step. Show up. Try something. And see where it leads.

Because when we live with purpose, when we give from the heart, when we lean into what makes us come alive—that’s when midlife gets really good.