What’s the Best Gift to Give This Holiday? Try Presence.

t’s that time of year when we stress over what to give everyone. Especially in midlife, many of us find ourselves asking: What does my partner even want? What do I get my grown kids? My parents? My friends?

Here’s my honest answer: what they probably want most is you.

Your time. Your voice. Your help. Your presence.

Lately, I’ve noticed how often the most meaningful moments in my own life have nothing to do with gifts—and everything to do with showing up. Over coffee, my friend Lynn told me she asked her adult kids for time this Christmas—not presents. She’s a single woman with a list of house and tech projects she can’t do on her own. Her kids’ gift? A few hours helping her knock those out.

It was such a simple idea. And so powerful.

Here are five ways you can give your presence this season:

1. Your Parents or Older Family Members

Offer tech support. Run an errand. Fix something. Visit without an agenda. These everyday acts matter more than you know.

2. Your Friends

Don’t wait for the invite. Reach out. Suggest coffee. Plan a girls’ night. Be the one who initiates connection.

3. Your Kids or Grandkids

One friend told me their family skips gifts and goes on a trip together instead. Presence > presents.

When my kids were little, my mom used to wrap all my gifts for me (and even “flocked” the tree because I hated doing it). That support stayed with me for years.

And recently, one of my sons told me something surprising—he actually likes when I randomly call him. I’d been texting first, trying not to interrupt. Turns out, hearing my voice was a gift.

4. Your Neighbors

Is there someone nearby—an older adult or a young mom—who could use help? Don’t underestimate the power of a quick chat or small act of service.

5. Your Community

Whether it’s volunteering, supporting a cause, or showing up in person, your presence can make a big difference. Women in midlife have experience, time, and heart—and we are needed.

We get so caught up trying to make things look perfect that we miss what really matters: connection.

So this season, I hope you’ll ask yourself not just what to buy—but where you want to be, and who you want to show up for.

And if the holidays felt hard last week, be gentle with yourself. You’re not alone.

Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is simply be present.